I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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