i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize