never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
