you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
