new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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