Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
