how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
