marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
