She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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