these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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