I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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