Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
