I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
