Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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