Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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