I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
