a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
