we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
