She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
