dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
