Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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