i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just pee around me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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