you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
