Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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