and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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