Banned from zoo.
Again?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize