well I can't set my house on fire every night
only if we run a train.
done.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
