Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
