Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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