what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize