she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
