You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there's paper in my vomit.
its not stalking. its research.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
