Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
