I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
