Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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