I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
