Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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