What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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