I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just puked most of my soul out..
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
