is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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