She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
