My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
