So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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