I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
