Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
