How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
