just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize