Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
