How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
