The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
