If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I want a musical about memes.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize