I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
