I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Randomize
