Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i came on her dog
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
