This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Is Oprah even human
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
