i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
