New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
