As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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