Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
