You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
