My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
