so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
