i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
