I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize