you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
