how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
