the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
