I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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