yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize