that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize