being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
