I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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