The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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