What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
