Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize